So the other day as I was flipping through the channels I caught the tail end of a program in which a panel of doctors were discussing the affects that losing ones virginity has on image.
I only caught the tail end of the discussion before they moved on to whether or not reality TV shows are making us dumber, but I did catch three main points from various members of the panel. In their defense, I didn’t hear the entire conversation so I don’t know the entire position they are coming from, but below are the three phrases I heard and my thoughts on them.
“Women today are feeling sexually liberated.”
My question is, have women been in sexual bondage in recent years and in need of liberating? I hardly think so. If anything, I think women are in bondage to sex and the men that use and abuse them now more than ever.
We’ve reached a point in society where sex is the norm, if not expected, after a few dates. All too often in those relationships that don’t make it to the bedroom right away, it’s not long before the woman, in an attempt to bring her man closer, gives in. I hear COUNTLESS stories from women seeking to gain attention and affection from their boyfriends and their attitude is “Well if I give into his demands, maybe it will bring us closer.”
Not the case. Maybe briefly, but if you’re not relationally close, can’t communicate and can’t seem to find common ground without sex, having sex certainly isn’t going to fix that. It’s a noble thought, give him what he truly desires and in turn he’ll act honorably and respond to your emotional needs but sadly it doesn’t work that way. If he’s distant, non-committal and you start giving him sex, in his mind he’s got no reason to change. He’s getting the goodies with things as they are, why should he have to change?
THAT in my mind is sexual oppression and it’s the insane cycle that people, young and old, are continuing to spin on.
As far as being free with their body and able to be intimate and open to whatever they want in the moment, I think that’s where its ends…in the moment. And after that when the guy wants nothing more to do with them unless he’s getting sex, they wonder what is going on.
“It’s important for young women to know and be able to decide when they are ready for sexual intimacy.”
I agree. And last I checked, 12 year olds aren’t ready for it yet they’re texting naked pictures to each other. Teens aren’t any more ready yet their filling their minds with racy movies that make a spectacle of sex and teach them THIS is reality. I hardly believe most young twenty something’s are any better prepared for sexual intimacy. When the pinnacle of their typical day is an online Call of Duty session, I hardly think these boys are ready to provide the support and relational intimacy that should accompany sexual intimacy.
Young people today THINK they’re ready for a lot of things when in fact they are nowhere close. I cannot count the number of comments I’ve read on Facebook from teenage guys and girls dealing with heartbreak and relationship issues. Every time I want to reach through the screen and say “Why?! Leave it all alone for now.”
But who would listen? They know what’s best. They know what they want. And one, two or ten years down the road, they’ll probably look back going, “Wow, why did I put so much emphasis on relationships at such a young age?” I know I do. And I thank God I didn’t act on half the impulses I had at that age.
All any of us know is what we feel. And in case you are completely in denial, feelings can lie to us. They can change with the weather, a flat tire or a phone call. In terms of the comment above, young people today THINK they’re ready for sexual intimacy when in fact they are nowhere close to being ready for it.
I know young people that have gotten married that I would argue aren’t capable of managing their own life, let alone ready for sexual intimacy. But at least they have the confines and commitment of marriage to learn and work and hold them together. Or they should if they’re taking that step.
Do I believe some people can be ready for sexual intimacy outside of the bonds of marriage? Sure. There’s nothing magical about the ceremony that makes you all of a sudden capable of sexual intimacy. However, without that ceremony and the commitment that comes with it, there is no guarantee that you’re fully committed to that person physically, emotionally and spiritually. Sadly, in this day and age marriage vows are hardly, if at all, considered a commitment, but it is in the sacred covenant that marriage is suppose to be, that you have the opportunity and ability to find true intimacy.
“Young People today are having sex way, way, way earlier than they should be.”
That was the only redeeming thing I heard coming from anyone on the show in the few minutes that I was watching and it is a FACT. Teen pregnancy rates are through the roof, abortion is being taught in schools and “Sex Education” has become more of a damage control subject rather than actual education.
Is it any wonder when major networks create shows like Jersey Shores, The Bachelor Pad and so many more? Hollywood gives us The Wedding Crashers, The Hangover and countless other movies FILLED with images that charge people up and glorify the almighty “hook up.” Kids hormones are going crazy and they’re pouring gasoline on an already raging inferno. What else can they do but act on impulse. After all, “I think I’m ready.”
Unfortunately the majority of our culture does not believe in abstinence. It’s considered old fashioned, impractical and what pains me the most, people who practice it are often looked down upon. But it is in waiting, (a foreign concept in America today) that we are able to reach a point, both in our own life and in our relationships, where we can truly understand what sexual intimacy is and if we are ready for it. Not if we feel that we are ready for it.
God knows if I acted on half the impulses that I felt I was ready for, I would have been dead a long time ago.
What are your thoughts on any of the three comments made by the Dr’s or the subject as a whole? I’d love to hear from you!
I totally agree man, I think these panelists, and the secular world in general, have bought the lie hook line and sinker!
While anyone who stands apart from this are ridiculed for that stand and THAT is most saddening.