Relationships nowadays are tricky. Marriage is even trickier. I’m only six months in but I can assure you that culture doesn’t have a clue and that most of my preconceived expectations about marriage (insert cheesy nonsense from Jerry McGuire etc) were wrong. Marriage is far greater than I had expected but very, very different. ...continue reading


I’m about a month away from getting married.  My fiancé and I have been together for almost two and a half years, most of it long distance.  As we inch closer and closer the big day, I’ve become more keenly aware of some simple do’s and don’ts that make life, and our relationship, so much more enjoyable.  These aren’t hard and fast, they’re simply things that we’ve found to work for us and I think most people would find, can really help eliminate some of the petty issues that arise in relationships. ...continue reading


A few months ago I was in Oregon on a “business” trip with some friends.  From the airport we were suppose to jump on I 205 and head for southern Oregon.  Somehow, in leaving the airport one of the cars managed to get on 205 north and started heading toward Seattle.

After a couple phone calls and figuring out where they were, we got them turned around and back on course.

The purpose of this little story is to illustrate that direction, not intention, determines your destination.  My friends, although well intended, were headed in the wrong direction.  They needed to go south and they were heading north.  No amount of positive thinking, hard work or will power could change the fact that if they kept going in that direction, they would end up farther and farther from their destination. ...continue reading

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When I first moved in with a young married couple in California I was VERY cautious.  It was, after all, their home and it was spacious to say the least.  The woman did an amazing job of keeping house and I felt very blessed to live there.

So as not to wear out my welcome, I went to great lengths not to disrupt their lives or her seemingly perfect and orderly household.  I took off my shoes when entering, kept all my belongings in my room and I never even considered leaving a dirty dish in the sink.  Then a funny thing happened, I got comfortable.

Over time as I became more and more comfortable with them and got used to living under their roof, my habits slid a little.  I started wearing my shoes around the house and leaving my personal affects on the table or counter.  If the dishwasher was clean and needed emptying rather than empty it, I confess on more than one occasion I just left my dishes in the sink.  I even started resting my shoes or grubby bare feet on the coffee table in the living room.  Although I witnessed other people do it from time to time, I can’t imagine she appreciated that.  In short, I got comfortable with “the way things were” and my habits changed. ...continue reading


A while back a wrote a couple of blogs about the inherent dangers that come when married people try to maintain relationships with members of the opposite sex.  Sure they’re just friends and YOU’VE never found them attractive but that doesn’t mean they feel the same and that doesn’t mean your spouse doesn’t feel threatened by them to some degree.

I mean yeah, it’s probably childish for a husband to be worried or even a bit jealous of your “buddy” at the office.  After all, the guy at work gets you for eight of your prime hours of the day.  Maybe a little less but there are still board meetings, lunchtime “planning” meetings and coffee breaks.

Your husband on the other hand gets a few minutes of your time in the morning while you’re half asleep and running out the door only to come home for a couple more hours in the evening while you’re focused on the kids and worn out from the day.  Somebody else gets you at your best, and he gets whatever you have left.  Nope, he has no reason to be bummed. ...continue reading


Humility is hard.  I’m a pretty logical person and my strong conscience doesn’t let me get away with much. I typically know pretty quickly when I’ve said or done something I wrong.

That said, admitting my fault and asking forgiveness is a whole lot harder.  I don’t like being wrong.  Probably the only thing I dislike more than being wrong is admitting I was wrong to the person who was right, or even worse, the person that I hurt.

Humility is a funny thing.  It can be incredibly hard to admit our shortcomings to the person or people who are the quickest to extend grace. ...continue reading


While life certainly has its fair share of ups and downs, the vast majority of it is spent walking a constant plain.  Work, spouse, kids, soccer practice etc.  There are moments of sheer bliss and seasons of complete discouragement.  On either side of the highs and lows is a routine we might call normalcy, mundane or simply life as usual.

Marriage and relationships are no different.  As with life, relationships have their own share of high’s and lows mixed in with a heavy dose of the daily grind. ...continue reading

I think this picture speaks for itself but because I got more likes and shares on facebook than I think I’ve ever gotten on one post I felt compelled to write more.  It’s ironic that I stumbled upon this picture yesterday because earlier in the day I had a conversation with a very anti-marriage gentleman.  He made a comment that he was married but he’s thankful that he “got out early” before there were any kids.  We had been talking about the entitlement of youth today and about how so much of that mentality starts at home with parents who give and do everything imaginable for their kids.  As we saw with the occupy Wallstreet movement, it breeds people who think they are owed something and that mentality is present in many marriages today…It’s all about me. ...continue reading